Behind The Mask
by TheVeckatimest
Summary: In Japan, there's an old proverb that goes like this; Any one person has three faces. The face they show to the world, the face they show their friends and family, and then the face they keep hidden from everyone. People say that it's the third face that is your real self, but are you willing to reveal who you are? (Ocean's 11 AU)
1. Chapter 1

"268593, step forward please" No matter how many times I say it, they just don't listen, do they.

"I have a name you know," I mumbled smugly, accepting the carrot colored scrubs. Waiting for the familiar ring of the resident 'approval' stamp to sound through the chatty hallway leading out to the courtyard, I glanced briefly at the guard I had most definitely annoyed in some way, shape or form. 'Hmmm, Bora, have we met before?' I wondered walking silently down the empty corridor. Bora. Where had I heard that name?

"268593! Head up, face straight!" Yelled the guard I'd come to know as Kageyama. Smirking in the spiky black haired man's direction, I left out an uninterested scoff and resumed my trudge forward through the Eisenwald Correctional Facility. Ha, correctional my ass. The people working in this hell hole are more fucked up than all the Death row inmates combined. "What was that, pretty boy?" Before I had any time to respond, Kageyama latched himself onto my collar with death in his eyes. Breathing in slowly, I kept my face indifferent to the death glare he was currently staring me down with, the longer we stood in that old dank hallway, the more pissed off Kageyama got.

"Kageyama! What have I told you about interacting with the inmates." Rolling my eyes, I smirked internally as my gaze landed upon the king of prison himself. Erigor, the big man running everything in this messed up facility. "Mr. Dragneel, I see you're causing trouble with my staff again." He stated, boredom dripping from that arrogant mouth of his. Turning my full attention to the smaller male standing regally in front of me, I gave him a quick once over and shrugged.

"Only to have these little moments together," I replied smugly, expecting what was to come next. When the feeling of a rough, calloused hand came in contact with my cleanly shaven face, all I could do was an evilly contemplative smirk. "Now do you have to be so mean?" I asked deviously, the dark glint shading my deep emerald green eyes to an almost midnight black, made Kageyama and the incompetent pair of guards everyone referred to as the Eisenwald Twins, cower behind their boss in favor of living.

"It seems to me you've forgotten what exactly happens to punks like you," Erigor stated crossing his flimsy looking arms over his small chest. Smirking at Erigor's feeble attempt to match me, the subtle nod of his head told me I was going to be taken by the Twins. "Take him to Solitary." He said, an arrogant touch of pride lining each word thickly. Scowling at his egotistically overbearing personality, I begrudgingly began walking to Solitary. This jackass's going to make me do something neither of us is going to like if he can't keep his domineering mouth shut.

A couple of hours later, I found myself sitting with my back to the wall and a tennis ball in my hand. Cliche, right? Figures as much, most every prison movie out has the whole 'throw a tennis ball at the wall out of sheer boredom' type scene. Something's off though. It isn't anything with the staff or the old rickety building keeping the lot of us inside, just the day. Waiting a couple more minutes, just listening for anything usual, I continued bouncing the back and forth between the wall and me, finishing out my time.

But it wasn't until late, almost 3 A.M if I had to guess, that I finally heard the strange noise I had been pining to hear. The low hum of the sliding cage bars opening up to let through a guard. Smirking to myself, I could immediately guess who it was. The dark blue haired man that just so happened to step in the light of the barred window on the door only served to confirm my suspicions. 'Bora.'

"Ya know Dragneel; I just thought that I'd finally struck out. Got enough stashed away to live peacefully on some island somewhere, wreak havoc just for the fun of it and move on to the next place but something told me one more gig would do me good. A simple retrieval mission, but it turns out I needed to save your sorry ass." Bora growled in annoyance, disappointment coursing through his thick voice. "What 'd ya do this time? Steal a priceless painting? Go after some rich bitch for her jewelry?" He said sliding the key into its lock, opening the titanium-plated door.

"It was a simple Money Laundering job, one that we could have easily done within a week but Gray and I found something much more valuable. So we spent another couple months there before we eventually got caught and I took the fall for everything. I assume Gray sent you with a care package?" I asked with a smirk.

"You and your Motley Crue are gonna get your asses handed to you by the government, and I swear I ain't gonna do a thing to stop it." Bora sighed, giving me a laundry sack with a simple black v-neck, some dark jeans, and a brown leather jacket. I recognized it as the jacket a friend of mine used for an escape costume a couple of years back. "Come on; we've only got 15 more minutes before securities gonna recognize a tamper in the security tape," Bora said pushing the door closed and briskly walked back down the way he came.

"So, a simple retrieval mission huh? How much did Gray have to pay you for this to happen?" I asked unbuttoning my scrub shirt and replacing it with the shirt Gray had packed for me. Hearing the humorless chuckle escape Bora's mouth I could only imagine it wasn't as much as he'd been hoping to get.

"You better shut your mouth before I call this whole thing off and leave you with Erigor." He said directing me down another passageway. Letting out a sharp 'Ha' at the thought, I rolled my eyes and kept going. I could handle myself against that twig; he couldn't lay one fragile finger on me even if he tried. "Stop here." Coming to a corner, I quickly finished dressing keeping my head down to hide from the cameras. As I was fixing everything up, I heard a quiet 'oomph' before a body fell to the ground.

"Not bad old man," I said coming around to see Bora standing over the man with a look of annoyance.

"Who are you calling old man, pinky? I'm only a couple years older than." He said defensively.

"Yeah, I'm not the one retiring." I snapped back with a glare. Throughout my history as a con-man, Bora and I have run into each other on more than one occasion. First was when I was 18 and he was 23. I was a freshman at Magnolia University while he was running credit card scams to pay off his med school tuition at Hargeon. He got caught a few months after but we ran into each other a year later on an embezzlement job.

"Look, I know you're gonna miss having me around, but it's for the best Natsu. My times almost up and if I don't get out soon, I might end up stuck in the exact situation you're trying to get out of." Bora said pulling me through a stairway down. "Now we gotta hurry, we only got…" He took a slight glance at his watch, "5 minutes before the alarms gonna sound." He said pushing me towards an empty wall.

I knew it was an illusion so I followed blindly behind him until we reach the wall. Bora banged his fist slightly on the top of what seemed to be a ventilation tube and place the scrap piece of metal beside us on the floor. Motioning for me to go, I crawled through quickly and followed the directions he was whispering to me from behind. 5 minutes later, we were home free. The getaway car was parked right outside the barbed fence Bora had the keys too. That's when the alarm sounded. Too little too late Eisenwald.

Once I reached the black rusty pickup truck waiting just outside of the camera's line of view, I turned to look back at the concrete shithouse keeping me captive for the last 3 months. Smirking at all the chaos I had created for the guards within the facility; I gave a small 'hang loose' hand signal as a wave of relief washed over my entire body. I picked up a habit of using the sign from my time in Kauai pulling an environment scheme.

"Aye, Firebug, getcher ass in this car right now or I'm leaving you here," Bora growled, his gruff voice thick with worry for the potential risk of getting caught. I rolled my eyes at the old nickname he gave me a while back when I accidentally set a forgery he had made on fire. Huffing silently about how that happened 3 years ago, I swiftly got in the car, and we sped away.

"That was one time Bora and you know it was an accident. How could I have known you were coming up to show Freed the forgery? You knew I was testing the flamethrower Gajeel had brought in from his weapons trade and yet there you were, walking up and not paying attention. Now that I think about it, my burning the forgery was entirely your fault." I stated pointing an accusatory finger in his face.

"No, no no no. It wasn't communicated to me that you were 'testing' the flamethrower, therefore, leading me, and everyone else I'm sure, to believe that you were just fucking around out of boredom and destroyed my beautiful masterpiece for no damn reason." Bora claimed with certainty, and I felt my arrogant smirk falter slightly.

Something about Bora's conviction could make even the most trustful most people doubt their opinions. Even if he was wrong, he could make a compelling case out of nothing and still make you believe him. I knew this about Bora even before we got to know each other. That's why I always gave him such shit for wanting to be a doctor instead of a lawyer of something.

"Well, I still maintain the fact that you walked up behind ME, and weren't paying attention, 'therefore' you got your forgery burned. I was merely the poor unfortunate soul you ran into." I said crossing my arms over my chest and looking childishly out the window.

Upon hearing Bora scoff at my childish behavior, I felt a little bit of my smirk return when he didn't have a comeback to my retaliation.

"You know arguing with you is like trying to argue with a brick wall that has no purpose. You refuse to believe that you're wrong and, acknowledge the fact that you screwed up in some way." Bora huffed, and I knew he was fed up. Even so, I could contain my smile. There's the Bora I know and semi-love, semi-hate.

"Glad to have you back Bora," I said patting his shoulder lightly. Paying no mind to the utterly confused look on Bora's face I directed my attention back to outside the window. Old tattered abandoned brick buildings turned into luxurious looking hotels and expensive stores lining the street. We cruised down the road in no particular rush to get anywhere.

"Gray's got a sweet new setup now," Bora said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Rolling my head against the headrest towards Bora's direction I made a light humming sound to show I was listening. "Laxus hooked him up pretty good with one of his grandfather's many penthouse apartments overlooking Magnolia." Exhaling harshly through my nose, a wave of tiredness washed over me.

"Awesome." I drawled out slowly. Who knew escaping prison would take so much energy? Eisenwald was just a weak security shit hole on some wasted marsh land just outside the city; it shouldn't have taken this much out of me. "Gramps has pulled through once again," I muttered proudly. That man maybe old but he gets around better than anyone I've ever known.

"That man is bat-shit crazy; I heard from some of the guys that back in his 'golden days' Makarov would pull off the most insane heists known to man," Bora stated proudly, an unbelieving smile plastered on his scruffy face. "You know one of his last hits was the MGM during its busiest time of year?" Bora asked, and I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Shaking my head, I scoffed incredulously at this newly found information. "W-w-wait, you're telling me that that old geezer stole from one of the biggest casinos here in the U.S?" I asked skeptically. Bora nodded his head, his proud smile confirming my suspicions. "No fucking way."

"Yeah and apparently he planned the entire thing out by himself, occasionally taking help from Bob and Goldmine but knowing them, they barely did a thing."

"What the fuck?! How did I not know about this?" I asked staring down at my bouncing leg trying to think if I might have missed it from one of the many Makarov talks I droned out thinking of some completely different. Doesn't help that I, admittedly, have the attention span of a goldfish.

"Hey, maybe the old man just doesn't trust you like the rest of us. You do tend to forget all the rules to being a prime con man to have a good fight." Bora offered knowing it didn't help.

Glaring harshly at the dark blue haired man, I huffed in annoyance at the possibility that he was right and crossed my arms childishly. Ignoring Bora's snickering from the driver's seat, I watched in excitement as we pulled into the garage of a fancy looking apartment building.

Exiting the truck, I smiled at door but turned around confused when I didn't hear another car door slam. Leaning into the window, I sighed deeply when I remembered Bora's words. 'My times almost up and if I don't get out soon, I might end up stuck in the exact situation you're trying to get out of.'

"So this is the end of the line for you, isn't it," I stated trying to sound indifferent, but even I could tell there was some little bit of sorrow stuck in my voice.

"Yeah well, what can I say? I've been running this game since you were still in high school, it's about time I take my leave of this life and start a new one. One where I don't always have to look over my shoulder every time I go out." Bora said, and I could hear the pain in his voice. He didn't want to leave either, but anyone in his position would do the same exact thing. That didn't mean people had to be happy about it.

"Everyone upstairs?" I asked looking towards the elevator. Turning back towards him, I saw the slight nod and a far off look in his eyes, but that lasted a total of 40 seconds before disappearing altogether. "Alright well hasta la vista bratwurst, enjoy early retirement," I said with a laugh.

"Yeah yeah Firebug, take care of yourself will ya? We don't need me coming back out just to save your sorry ass again" Bora returned with a genuine smile. I could tell he was sincere, with Bora it was an easy thing to see if he was lying or not, if you know him that is.

"Can't promise you anything but until I place that special call, Aloha brah and enjoy yourself," I said smiling while giving him a Shaka. Laughing at his confused face, I backed away still smiling as I reached the doors. "Until we meet again Bora." Pressing the up button I gave my friend one last smile which he returned before driving off. Slowly the door closed and I began moving up, up to my scandalous life as a conman.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hola, welcome to the second chapter of Behind The Mask. If you read my warning in the last chapter as soon as you read this you will understand where I was coming from, anywho, enjoy.**

Tapping my foot nervously against the expensive looking tile floor, I glanced at the monitor to see what floor I was at. Makarov's penthouse started on the 49th floor, extending up to the 50th having all of two floors to himself. There were plenty of rooms in the apartment but only a few people from our little band of misfits actually stayed here. I, being the lucky son of a bitch I am, am one of the fortunate souls staying.

Upon hearing another bothersome 'DING' I glanced again at the monitor. 36th floor. Releasing a deep sigh I didn't even know I was holding in, I shoved my hands deep in my jacket pockets tapping my fingers in nerve-induced boredom.

Directing my attention down at the clothes I was wearing, I noticed this one the first time I'd actually gotten to take a good look at what Gray had given me. The first thing I noticed were the two gigantic pockets placed on either side of the zipper, both of them at least an elbow deep. This jacket was fucking huge, expanding down almost reaching my knees. At that moment, I knew exactly who's jacket this was. None other than the big boss's grandson himself, Laxus Dreyar.

The man is tall. I'm a good 6'2" but he and around 6'6" or 6'7", fucking ginormous. I remember distinctly, the last time I saw him wearing this jacket was a case we caught together maybe 2 years ago. At the time, Laxus had an insane need for quarters, no other coin currency just quarters, and Wint-O-Green mints. He filled both pockets with each thing so full, walking down the street he sounded like a fucking parade.

Gray and I used to laugh our asses off whenever Laxus passed us wearing this damn jacket. No wonder the job went south more than a couple times before it was actually finished, Laxus, the dumb fuck that he is, was practically strutting around acting as a one man circus the entire time. And he wouldn't… let us… throw… THE. DAMN. THING. OUT!

Huffing in fond irritation, I glanced again at the monitor. I only had 3 floors to go. I don't know what I should expect once I step foot out of this elevator. There are a few people in particular that would be pleasantly satisfied if they saw a hole in my head while others could be furious I haven't gotten out soon. Either way, neither ends well for me while I'd rather have the latter out-rank the former but it's never really easy to predict the opinions within my, quote unquote, family.

Once the final ring signaled my arrival to my designated floor, or floors, I held my breath waiting for chaos to ensue on the other side of the titanium doors. After an obnoxiously long second, I peeked one eye open to find most of the apartment in darkness aside from a dimmed light in the kitchen and the silhouette of a figure I knew to be Gray. Stepping in, I dropped my duffle bag ungracefully on the floor before walking over to the counter he was perched at, drinking his late night-early morning, vodka doused coffee.

"About time you got here." Gray said stiffly and I knew he was just pissed because I kept him up all night waiting. Shrugging innocently, I pranced around the island counter aiming for the coffee pot. A harsh 'No' came a second later from Gray and I could he didn't want to deal with a highly energetic me at 5:00 in the morning. Turning to glare at my best friend-practical brother, I decided against my earlier intentions knowing, although I would never admit it, Gray was ultimately right.

"Bora showed up a bit late with actually getting me out of that shitty Solitary cell but that was to be expected. Getting down to that god-forsaken cell block is a pain in the ass all by itself." I stated leaning comfortably on my elbow. "Thanks for the gift bag. Getting away from a place like that is easy but a little less so when you're wearing rabbit puke as a fashion statement." Gray chuckled quietly as his fingers played with the handle on his mug. I glad my apparent misery could entertain him so much.

"Everyone's gone home, or to bed, so you shouldn't expect to see anyone re-enacting The Walking Dead until you wake up, decidedly you actually get to sleep, or around noon. A lot of us stayed up thinking you'd be home earlier so they're all out and the rest of our merry men won't arrive until much later." Gray said tiredly, finishing his cup of coffee. I nodded simply, leaning back against the counter across from the island. The two of us spent the next five minutes in comfortable silence, Gray lost in his thought while adjusted to the new set up. Bora wasn't kidding when he said Laxus did us all a solid.

"Alright, well, I'm gonna get some sleep before I turn into Erza when someone steals her cake." Shuddering at the thought of the last time that happened, an involuntary shiver ran up my spine as I remembered the brutal ass kicking Romeo received. He was just a kid Erza, there is no separating kids from their sweets, it's a proven fact that I learn one year when I stole my younger sister, Wendy's candy and she found it within minutes. That was a sad day, I'd lost the only good hiding place I knew.

Gray shook his head and sighed, probably imagine the same unfortunate event I had brought up, before standing and placing his mug in the sink. Turning to me, he pulled me in for a brotherly hug. Patting his back lightly, I squeezed to let him know that I was back and didn't plan on going anywhere.

Gray and I have known each other since our diaper days. Our mothers had been good friends for years before they even dreamed of having us, proceeded to pass along a friendship when the time came. Sometime after my 5th birthday and Wendy being born, tragedy struck our two households. Gray's mom died in an awful car accident coming home from work one night in late April. Gray, his twin brother Lyon and his father were complete wrecks. Gray's took it especially hard. His depression got so bad he couldn't even take care of Gray and Lyon anymore. That's when they're Aunt Ur and cousin Ultear stepped in.

They moved all the way to Magnolia to take care of the twins. That worked for a couple years but then tragedy struck the Fullbuster family once again when Gray and Lyon were 12 years old and Ultear, around 18. Gray and Ur had been in a horrible fight about whether he could go to this party at some girl's house down the street. Ur, of course, said no but Gray stormed out like a little bitch throwing a hissy fit and ran across the street. Ur followed him but was to wrapped up in yelling at him to get back in the house to notice the oncoming car hurtling down the street. Gray had lost yet another loved to a car accident.

For the longest time after that, Gray blamed everything that happened entirely on himself despite his cousin's constant reminders that it was just an accident. Lyon was a little bit less understanding, blaming Gray at first but then easing up once he noticed how bent out of shape his brother was over the whole thing.

At the time, Ultear was 18 and at the age where she could take care of the boys. My parents, Igneel and Grandine, always looked out for her. Anything she needed, my parents would get and it was the same way for Gray and I. We would spend hours upon days upon months, even into years, just hanging around talking sometimes or watching movies or just sitting in silence. But no matter what I was always there for him.

When Gray and Lyon were 16, Ultear had had enough. She had to grow up so fast in order to take care of her cousins and she gave up a lot to stay help them until they were old enough. So finally at 22 years old, Ultear handed the boys over to my parents and left for college.

As far as I can tell, Ultear is doing great. She became an English teacher at a school that teaches kids who are 18 and under that have been or are in prison. She's engaged to this really nice guy coincidentally named Macbeth but she's happy and that's all Gray and everyone who helped her and the boys want for her.

I do, however, think it's kind of ironic that Ultear teaches kids not to get in trouble and end up in jail while Gray AND Lyon are renowned con artists, helping run the city's underground, slightly illegal, trading market. Making my way to a spare room, I dumped all my belongings on the floor and flopped onto my bed, my body instantly relaxing once it hit the soft mattress below.

I never realized just how comfortable even the lumpiest beds are compared to the shit they have back in prison. There, the bed is basically just a cardboard box shoved into a mattress cover and taped onto a low rising metal table. I can tell right now I'm going to have some serious back problems. Oh, joy.

Kicking off my boots, and stripping from my jacket, shirt, and pants I crawled underneath the nice warm covers and let the black edges of sleep curl around my vision. Thinking back to all the times I had a room, I quickly came to the realization that I've never had a room to myself. I have three siblings, an older brother, and Wendy. I slept in the same room as Zeref and my father for 12 years before Zeref got accepted into college and left. I probably had a solid 2 weeks of it just being my dad and I before Ultear gave Gray and Lyon to my parents and then there were 4 of us shoved into that small room every night.

Gray and I always slept on the floor on an air mattress, that had no air in it by the way so we were basically just sleeping on the floor, and Lyon took up the spare spot on the bed. That cheeky son of a bitch had no qualms about taking MY spot on the bed.

We had 6 people sharing two rooms and one bathroom. We got so comfortable around each other that all four of us kids could be in the bathroom at one time. We had to if all of us wanted to be ready for school on time. A typical morning in the bathroom at the Dragneel house went like this 9 out of 10 times a week. Wendy would be at the sink brushing her teeth and brushing her hair, then Lyon would stroll in, whip out his dick and take a piss right in front of her. Now I know that it's kind of gross when you think about it but after the age of 16, Gray and Lyon legal became our brothers so Wendy would always just find it incredibly amusing. A couple minutes later I'd always sprint in trying to grab a shower before Gray could, so we'd have that going all the while Gray and Lyon would start peeing together.

That lasted for two years while Gray, Lyon, and I finished up high school but then I had a dorm room in college. Gray and I were roommates, without the added bonus of having my father and his brother taking up the only bed in the room, all four years of our college experience.

Now I know what you're thinking. How the hell did a dumbass like me make it through 4 years of college at a fairly high ranked state school? The answer is schemes, scams, and forgeries. Gray and I had a good, well paying, system down. We'd screw idiotic college kids out of their parent's money just to raise their grade a little bit. Gajeel joined in when he and his best friend Juvia transferred to Magnolia at the beginning of sophomore year. All in all, Gray and I did finish college and to anyone who doesn't know my real job, thinks I'm a lowly Volcanologist working just below a suitable pay grade.

For a couple months, extending into a year after they graduated Gajeel, Gray and I shared a room but we all had our own beds. That was our sleeping arrangements until Gray and I were sent on that money laundering job. Then we stayed together in the servants quarters at the Porla estate until we were busted and I was sent to the brigs.

I could definitely get used to having a room all to myself. Turning over on my stomach, I felt my eyes droop into a constant state of relaxed squinting as my body began to shut down. It's been a long day and the aspect of finally getting to sleep comfortably just made me smile sleepily. Soon all was dark.

Waking up to the incessant sound of some no named idiot with a death wish, pounding on my bedroom door I groaned a string of profanities lifting a pillow onto my head in order to block out the annoying sound. When that did nothing to stop the relentless knocking, I growled darkly.

"What the fuck do you WANT!" I shouted from under the pillow. Hearing the door opening slightly I smelled the familiar stench of too much cologne wafting over towards my bed signaling the arrival of a certain womanizer who annoys the shit out of everyone. I've never once known Loke Celestial to be a decent guy. Ever.

"I heard that you broke out last night, I just wanted to see if fact matched the rumor." Loke stated, his tone matching that of one very conceited asshole. Staring at him with the blankest expression I've ever worn, I breathed in deeply trying to settle the raging anger boiling in my stomach.

"You woke me up with you endless banging on the door TO SEE IF I WAS FUCKING HERE!?" I shouted enraged. Loke's eyes widened as he backed away from me and closer to the door. The ginger haired man shrugged nervously but didn't say anything more, his opinionated self-being dominated by fear. Pointing to the door I yelled, "GET THE FUCK OUT LOKE!" Scaring the little shit right out of my room. Before the door slammed shut I could hear the familiar sound of Gray's laughter emanating from the kitchen.

Falling back into the plush white and gold sheets, I tried desperately to get back to sleep but it was a useless attempt. I was already up for the day. Just as I was about to get up, I light knock came from my door. Grunting in recognition, the person opened the door revealing him to be Gray.

"It's good to have you back Natsu." Gray stated hinting to my reaction about the unpleasant way I was woken up. Glaring half-heartedly at the man I reached down and grabbed a black flip flop that had randomly found its way into my room and chucked it at my best friend only for him to close the door just in time to be safe. Gray's laugh sounded loud until it faded away telling me he had left. Smiling to myself, I pushed off the bed and grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants from a large duffle bag sitting on the dresser. At least Gray was kind enough to pack up his things when they moved from their last set up back in Oaktown.

After pulling on the pants, I stumbled out of my room tripping on an assortment of bags, clothes, and shoes thrown everywhere. Making it to the kitchen I saw Gray leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in one hand and his phone in the other. Glancing around the first floor of the apartment I noticed we were, yet again, the only two down here.

"Hey, where'd everyone go?" I asked while pouring myself a cup of hot bitter deliciousness. Despite everyone telling me otherwise, I like my coffee straight up black. All those shitty Starbucks pumpkin spice lattes that Loke drinks just give me migraines. Well so does he so they might actually not be that bad but I'm determined to fucking hate them because it's all he fucking talks about. When fall comes around he says those exact words probably five times in one sentence alone.

"Well, you scared the shit out of Loke so he went to go find his next conquest or something. Some people are still sleeping while others are out scanning or doing some recon for god knows what." Gray said turning back to his phone. I nodded knowing Gray knew I understood and went to find something to eat.

Pulling out a box of Trix cereal, I made myself a bowl before plopping myself down on the seat next to Gray. We sat comfortably in silence as I finished my breakfast and he checked he phone. Once I was finished I tossed the bowl and spoon perfectly in the sink, ignoring the loud clatter that came ceramic and metal hitting metal. Going back to my seat, Gray turned off his phone and looked at me.

"How's Lyon?" I asked spinning my coffee cup around on the counter with one of my hands. Gray smiled and nodded mirroring my actions with his empty cup.

"He's good. He and Meredy got engaged a couple weeks ago and you missed a hell of a party. Absolutely everyone got shit-faced, even Jura Neekis, the most prudish con man in Lyon's band of misfits. And I'm pretty sure your cousin fell asleep bare-ass naked on the toilet. Boy, I can't even begin to imagine the ring around his ass." Gray said before he started laughing. Smiling with a shake of my head, I could only imagine how my poor cousin manages to do that. Speaking from experience I know that it's really uncomfortable.

"Who found him?" I asked genuinely interested.

"Levy!" Gray squeaked causing the both of us to laugh hysterically. Gajeel is known to have a very big soft spot for the tiny blue haired bookworm despite his tall dark and handsome exterior. The man is literally 6'5" and covered from head to toe in piercings and scars. After calming down from my laughing fit, I wiped a stray tear that had fallen while I cracked up unashamedly at my cousin's unfortunate situation.

"Hey remember when we all lived in my house before college and practically all of us guys had the same exact shit schedule?" I asked trying not to laugh as I asked the question. Gray began laughing again but nodded nonetheless and so I continued. "Somehow, I was always able to get to the bathroom first and one of you would be banging down the door…"

"Because I have to shit!" Gray exclaimed cutting me off.

"Yeah but every time I was in the bathroom, either you or Lyon would be knocking on the door and with you, it's an emergency everything single time. You're like 'Come on Natsu, this is bullshit!' Like you've gotta be kidding me, it's every fucking time." I yelled good-naturedly causing Gray to crack up hysterically. I waited for Gray to calm the fuck because his fucking hyena could wake up the whole damn apartment.

"You'd always be in there right after dinner though and at that point, everyone had to fucking go." Gray justified making me shrug. He had a point. Every day after dinner, I'd sprint upstairs to get to the bathroom before everyone else and, low and behold, 5 minutes later one of them is up there banging on the door. And I'm just like, 'I just sat down, you can go take a fucking hike buddy.'

"Yeah but you take like 35-minute shits though." Gray reasoned making me look at him through narrowed eyes. Sure some of my shits over the years have been slightly more than 15 minutes but I wouldn't go so far as to say that they took a good half an hour. "You like to let…"

"I like to let gravity take out my shits." I explain easily, stifling a laugh at Gray's disgusted face.

"Yeah I know, you don't even push. You get in there and you try to do everything but shit." Gray stated causing me to laugh at how serious he was.

"I do some of my best thinking in the bathroom." I justify making Gray chuckle as he drops his head down. We took a few minute to recompose ourselves but I knew this argument wasn't done.

"You take like, 37-minute shits," Gray claimed running a tired hand through his hair. I just shook my head. "Only you can do that." He continued pointing an accusing finger at me.

"That's an exaggeration," I said simply while scratching the back of my head.

"No, I don't think it is. Back in college, you would fall asleep drunk on the toilet, many times I've found you. You were dead asleep on the toilet. You get too comfortable." Gray said loudly. I just laughed as I finished off the rest of my coffee and Gray stared at the wall silently. "If only I did that." He finished causing both of us to double over the counter flat out laughing. Gray has a horrible history when it comes to his college drinking experiences that me falling asleep while shitting is the most innocent thing that's happened.

I'd be asleep for hours before Gray would actually come find me in the guy's bathroom at our residence hall. He's told me before that it was hilarious seeing me all hunched over with a ring about 4 cm deep cutting into my ass and red marks on the tops of my knees from leaning on them.

"I can't use the squatty potty for anything though, just throwing it out there," I said randomly gaining Gray's attention back. A while back my mom, being a doctor at the Magnolia West Hospital and Cancer Center all the way across town, bought me this thing a while back that goes under your toilet and is supposed to help with your posture while you're shitting. It does absolutely nothing aside from giving you back pains.

"Why? I mean I left it back at the other base because neither of us uses it and Lyon doesn't want it but we could go back and get it if we wanted to." Gray said standing up to put his and my mug in the sink and the box of cereal back in the cupboard.

"No, because I'm perched like a fucking gargoyle with my knees up and my back is killing me and every time I tried to use it I was just like, what the fuck is this doing?"

"Yeah well, you're supposed to squat because it makes for a more natural like it opens up your anus in such a way so that your shit comes out better? I guess? I don't really know when your mom gave it to you, she gave me the pamphlet knowing you were never gonna read and then ask me how to use it." Gray explained, laughing as my nose scrunched up at the aspect that he and my mother talked about this.

"I don't know, I take huge shits so I think my anus is probably already… opening." I stated awkwardly. I didn't exactly know how to word that sentence without revealing too much.

"Yeah well I'd rather mine stay closed," Gray muttered glancing around the huge modern kitchen. This made me burst out laughing as I repeated what Gray had said to myself. I lost Gray for a good two minutes as I continued to laugh about Gray's statement and what we were actually talking about.

"Do you know the feeling you get when you know you've gotta take a shit?" He asked just as I began to settle down. Giving a little chortle, I nodded anyways so he could continue. "Well, I got that feeling right as I was in the middle of walking up the stairs at Lyon and Meredy's place. A lot of us were over there helping clean up a good two days after the party and before I made it halfway up the stairs I was just like, 'WOW! I'm gonna shit my pants!'" Gray shouted before we both dissolved into laughter.

"I ran into the living screaming at Meredy and Juvia that I've got diarrhea and had to hold while the I ripped the door open and all I could hear was my stomach because it was backed up I guess, it just goes like 'GRRALOULALOUR!'" At this point, I can barely even breathe and millimeters away from falling off the stool I was sitting on. Banging my fist on the counter I rest my head against my hand and try to calm down but I just can't seem to stop laughing.

"What is wrong with you?" I wheezed breathlessly still trying to recover from what he just told me.

"Yeah and then the world just fell out of my ass as soon as I sat on the toilet," Gray concluded sending me into another bout of laughter. I don't think words could ever describe how funny this all sounded to me. Clapping my hands I leaned back trying to ease my aching abdominal muscles from laughing so hard.

"I know what you mean," I start, taking a deep breath to calm myself down before continuing. "Whenever I have diarrhea, a fart is usually like a warning sign. So I get into the bathroom and the first thing that happens is a fart and then just 'whooopppp.'" I said with a smile as Gray shakes with laughter.

"Is it like the little 'whoooo'?" Gray asked before dissolving into laughter again. Shaking my head, I ran a hand down my face waiting for Gray to calm down a bit.

"No no no, this is like an explosion," I said calmly, watching as Gray actually does fall off his stool and just lies there on the ground clutching his stomach and trying not to piss himself. "It was kind of like a flashbang grenade with a big 'POUHA' and then it just 'sssss.'" I finish and crack up at the look of pain placed on a still laughing Gray's face. Once he calmed down he slowly got up and sat back on the stool, out of breath.

"Man, I haven't laughed like that in months." He said after a short but comfortable silence. Smiling at his indirect confession that he missed me, I patted his shoulder before looking around the place. "How many people do you think heard us?" Gray asked causing me to chuckle. It's like the guy read my mind.

"I don't know but with the way you were laughing your ass off, probably everyone in this fucking hotel," I stated before getting up. Going into my room, I got my phone and came back out to see Gray smiling softly at his phone. "What's up?" I asked grabbing a water bottle.

"Grandine asked that all of us get together for dinner tonight. She said she and Ultear have a special announcement." Gray said his smile slipping into one of discomfort. "I hope it isn't what I think it is." He finished, shifting in his seat. Chuckling quietly, I secretly hoped Ultear was pregnant just so Gray and Lyon could fight Macbeth for banging their cousin.

But it was way past time for something good to happen to the whole Fullbuster family. Something to prove that life isn't all that bad.

 **So it's not that bad right? Well anyways, comment what you like or don't like and I'll try to fix it. Next one should come out in a couple days. Bye loves!**


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